Have you had enough?

Have you had enough?

Leading Life Coach Louise Presley-Turner shows us how to say NO to wanting more…

Do you find you have everything you could possibly need, yet you still want more? Maybe it’s clothes, shoes, bags, maybe it’s the latest gadget and gizmos. It seems we’re caught in a cycle of craving more of everything; more money, more food, more luxuries. More, more more! But, at what point do we stand back and say ‘I’m happy with my lot, thank you’.

I think we’re at saturation point; we’ve got more of everything than we can ever use, enjoy or afford. Yet, we worry that somehow we’ll get left behind if we don’t keep up. But, if we’re honest with ourselves the things we’re taught to covet don’t actually make us any happier in the long-run. They will give a short-term ‘feel good’ high that ultimately wears off within a matter of hours, days, weeks leaving us frantically looking for our next fix. This is how most of us live our lives. It’s like eating a huge bar of chocolate: One or two pieces are yummy, but eating the whole bar can make you feel sick!

Maybe the recession will do us all a favour, and make us take a good hard look at ourselves and re-evaluate our spending habits.

By resisting the pressure to keep up with the ‘Joneses’ you can start to work out what really makes you happy.

True fulfilment comes from deep within, from the small pleasures in life and not from the latest mobile phone, ‘it’ bag or widescreen TV .

Here are six strategies to help you say NO to more….

No to more clothes
I love clothes. And I have to admit I own far too many, far more than I could ever want or need. I decided this year I’d have a mass clearout and create a ‘capsule’ wardrobe. It’s well known that 20 percent of our wardrobe is worn 80 percent of the time, leaving the majority of our clothes unworn, moth-eaten and going out of fashion faster than you can say ‘tank top’. So, next time you find yourself at the checkout overloaded with news clothes, ask yourself; ‘Am I really going to wear this item, or will it end up with the 80 percent of my wardrobe that never sees the light of day?’

No to buying more food
These days a trip to the supermarket can take up the best part of your day, weighing up all the BOGOF offers, deliberating over 25 varieties of olive oil, or figuring out how to master the self-service checkout. Most of us leave with enough food to feed an entire army, most of which ends up in the bin by the end of the week because it has past its sell-by date. It’s not good for your pocket, or the environment. Rather than doing a humongous shop, try shopping locally on a more frequent basis. Or how about shopping online, I find that not only does it save me much-needed time; it also saves me money, as I don’t get tempted into buying items that I simply don’t need.

No to the kid’s demands
As a mum it’s very easy to give in to your children’s demands. The constant nagging takes its toll. These days we are seduced into thinking that denying our children the things they want is tantamount to child abuse, or that if we don’t give them the latest ‘trendy’ trainers they won’t love us! It’s crazy. Start the way you mean to go on. Talk to your children and set up some kind of reward system, so that they receive gifts for helping around the house or doing well at school, rather than every time they leave the house. It is up to us parents to provide our kids with a healthy respect for money and to have gratitude for the simple pleasures in life.

No to more e-mails
I admit – I’m an e-mail junky. I tend to find myself breaking into a cold sweat if I haven’t checked my e-mails for at least 24 hours. I find myself thinking: ‘What if I miss something important’ or ‘It’s rude not to reply immediately’. Because e-mail is an instant technology we think we need to give an instant response. Gone are the days when you’d write a letter and it would take two or three days to arrive by post. Adding a simple auto-responder can take the pressure off or simply just weaning yourself off checking every few minutes and instead, check your mail twice a day at set times. Or you could just delete the lot and spend the day in the garden instead. Only joking! Just don’t let your e-mails rule your life!

No to more clutter
Do you really need more cushions, more unread books or another vase? In most cases it’s not until we move house and have to pack up all our belongings that we realise just how must ‘stuff’ we’ve accumulated over the years. Next time you find yourself about to buy yet another smelly candle or pretty photo frame, ask yourself: ‘Do I really need this, or will it just be more clutter that will end up on a car boot in a few years time?’ We could all do with a bit more of the old ethos ‘Make do and mend’. Make a plan of action to de-clutter all old unwanted items and be more mindful of any new purchases.

No to more responsibility
Do you find yourself saying ‘YES’ when you know you ought to really be saying ‘NO’? Do you find yourself organising your best friend’s hen do, whilst spending your evenings sewing millions of sequins onto 29 outfits for the school play? If you’re the type that constantly over commits, you need to realise you’re not a superhero! You cannot do it all, and if you try, it’ll be you that suffers in the long-run. Learn how to say ‘no’ gracefully and take the weight off your shoulders. Value yourself, because if you don’t, no one else will!

Here is what some of my clients find it hard to say NO to…

“I can’t say no to another glass of wine! It doesn’t help my weight, but I hate to miss out.”

Solution: “I now have a smaller glass, or add soda to my wine. I’ve also started drinking sparkling elderflower, it’s really nice and won’t make me pile on the pounds.”

“I can’t say no to a night out, in case I miss out. I just love a good party, but when I over commit it leaves me feeling exhausted”

Solution: “I’ve started planning ahead, I decide at the beginning of the month how many nights out are realistic, both financially and physically and stick to my guns. If someone invites me out, I either invite them along or suggest we put a date in the dairy for the following month instead. To be honest, just becoming aware has made all the difference!”

“I can’t say no to the kids requests for more toys, my house is just so full of rubbish, none of us can move anymore.”

Solution: “I’ve set up a reward system for each child. I explained that if they help around the house or do their homework they will receive reward points that can be saved up and then redeemed for a particular gift they want. At the end of each month we count up the rewards and each of them can then choose something nice. It has worked wonders, it really has!”