How To Treat A Cheating Husband: How To Make A Cheating Husband Feel Guilty - I'm Always Trying To Lower My Husband's Confidence By Insulting Him

How To Treat A Cheating Husband: How To Make A Cheating Husband Feel Guilty - I'm Always Trying To Lower My Husband's Confidence By Insulting Him

"Will my marriage survive infidelity?" What is your opinion on this? Most people think that the answer is "No" because they find that it is not easy and impossible to repair the marriage. However, the fact is repairing the marriage is still possible after infidelity and it matters only how determine and sincere you are going to fix this marriage because it needs time and effort to do so.

Will my marriage survive infidelity is not a problem when you know how to communicate properly. If you want to avoid arguments and further suspicions, keep in mind that you have to be honest and transparent in your communication and actions. This way can assure your spouse that you are sincere to keep this marriage. If the person that you had an affair with is still making advances towards you, tell your spouse immediately to avoid any suspicions and seek his or her advice to deal with this problem. If you want your marriage to survive through infidelity, you have to cut off all the connections from the person that you had an affair with.

You are most likely to face a trust issue after infidelity and you will also feel a detachment in your relationship. Hence, it is important that you put your best foot forward to renew the sparks in this marriage. Focus on bringing back fond memories by talking about the good old days together or plan on dates that can let your spouse feel the romance in the marriage again.

I am sure you want more than that to just save your marriage after the affair. You want the two of you to be happy and not only that, you hope to understand each other's needs. Treat your spouse with honesty, respect and love. Your marriage not only will survive infidelity but could possibly be stronger than before.

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Of all the things that can end a marriage an affair is probably the hardest to overcome. It is possible to save your marriage after an affair but it is not going to be easy. If you decide that you want to stay together after your partner has had an affair you are going to have to work at it.

The biggest thing that you have to think about after an affair is whether or not it is worth saving the marriage. In a lot of cases you will decide that it isn't, if that is the case then there is little that can be done other than to end the marriage. If on the other hand you make the decision that there is something there worth saving then you are going to have to work to keep the marriage together.

The first thing that you have to do if you want to stay together after your partner has had an affair is to forgive them. This is the hardest part of saving a marriage after an affair but it is something that has to be done. In order to move forward you are going to have to work on rebuilding the trust between the two of you, this won't happen if you haven't forgiven your partner. Without forgiveness there can't be any trust and without trust there is no way to save the marriage.

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The next thing that you are going to have to work on if you want to save the marriage after your partner has had an affair is why the reason that they cheated. Clearly if somebody cheats it is because they are not getting something that they need out of the marriage. This is not an excuse for the affair of course but it is an issue that has to be addressed. It can be painful to have to hear the reasons that your spouse cheated but it has to be done if you are going to save the marriage.

It is important to keep in mind that if your spouse has had an affair you are going to have to put in some work if you want to stay together. It is natural to assume that the person who cheated will be the one who does the work, however this is not a realistic approach. It will take work from both of you if you want to save the marriage.

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What men want in a woman is someone who knows where the fine line is within the gray area of what's right and wrong, particularly when it comes to interaction in public. I'm particularly talking to the ladies out there who consider themselves the dominant one in the relationship. Ladies, you are nothing without your man. Continue to publicly show your dominance and he will leave you. I'm not saying having the woman as the dominant partner is wrong, I'm saying that you have to respect a man's boundaries. Here's examples of my wife (the dominant one) getting it wrong.

1. Privileges

I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good husband for my wife. I drive her here and there, I pick her up when she calls me, I cover her costs when we're out usually. All the things a husband should do.

It gets a bit embarrassing when she talks about these things to my mates. Not all of them are as generous as I am, so when she brings up specific figures, i.e. how much money I give her to spend on shopping, it crosses the line. She knows that now and knows that it's private.

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2. Sex Life

Sex is an issue that I've had to deal with since I actually started dating my now wife. She's quite open about her sexuality and all her girlfriends know it. I had to adjust to that; I'm quite a private person.

It is not cool for her to talk about her sex life with her male friends. There's nothing worse than having one of her girlfriends give you a knowing look the next time you're out, except having it being one of her male friends. She crossed the line.

3. Arguments

This is something else that should remain in house. We argue about typical couple things: money, time spent together, the mortgage, etc.

The main problem I have with her sharing what we argue about is that again like the first point, she uses specific numbers. Sharing money numbers with friends in general is taboo for me. She knows that now.

What men want in a woman is someone who can see contrast and see the gray area. She has to know what she can and can't share. If she does her man will respect her more. A good rule of thumb is whatever you would be angry with your man sharing with his friends, he would probably feel the same too.

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"It was Christmas Eve morning; we should have loved, instead we were having an awful fight. Lionel and I just expected the kids would go to church with us. We go every year, so what was the big deal?"

Lois, Lionel, and their grown-up daughters sit in my office trying to understand the hurt they caused each other this past week.

Although they've just started talking about this, Carolyn is exacerbated, as if she's explained herself to her parents a million times already. "The big deal is that I didn't want to go. I've always gone because you've made me, but this year I though, as a college freshman, I should be able to make my own decision."

Emily, her older sister, joins in. "Mark and I have decided when we have kids we're not going to force them to go to church."

"Force," exclaims father. "Did we ever force you? You're just using all this stuff in the paper about the priests as an excuse. You know you should go to church."

Clearly father isn't hearing the contradiction in his saying he never forced them to church and then saying they should go. Emily and Carolyn hear the "should" and feel his demand.

Mother apologizes for her part in what happened what Wednesday. "It started as a simple discussion, but we ended up yelling at each other. I know I blew up; I over-reacted as soon as Emily mentioned the court suits against priests. I'm really sorry about that, girls. I shouldn't have done that. I do get defensive when anyone criticizes the Church."

She turns to me and explains, "I was brought up Catholic and went to Catholic schools. When I hear them challenge me or question the Church, I feel I need to defend it."

"Why?" asks Carolyn, in a tone of voice that doesn't sound like she really cares about the answer. "Why can't you two go, enjoy it, and let us make up our own minds?"

"You may make the wrong decision," father blurts out. Again, he doesn't hear the irony, but Emily does.

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"What you mean is we may not make your decision. Let me tell you what I think about your beloved Catholic Church."

Whoa. What is this family really arguing about? The Church and Catholicism is only the topic; what is really being discussed is how parents and their grown-up children handle differences of opinion. It's a variation of the control battles they had when the girls were little. But as with all control battles, parents must ask: Is this particular battle worth it?

Parents need to pick and choose. With young children, parents have more battles from which to choose, but as children move out of the home, there are fewer arenas for their control.

When parents take on a battle, they need to be clear what they want. In this family, what is the real issue? Is it Mom and Dad want their daughters to go to church? Always or just for Christmas? Do they want them to believe in the Catholic principles or just defend the Church? If asked, each would probably answer differently.

Listening as their therapist, I hear Emily and Carolyn talking about their maturation, insisting on being treated as adults; mother is fighting for the respect of her heritage; father is holding on to his parental authority - if the girls make their own decision, he must acknowledge they are grown up. These are the real issues; going to church for Christmas is only the topic that demonstrates these issues.

Back in the conversation they think they are having, Mother is hurt by Emily's sarcasm about the Church. She says, "I don't want you girls to give up on the Church without first thinking carefully about it. I guess I'd be okay if you made a thoughtful decision, but... " She isn't sure how to finish that sentence.

Father is. "A thoughtful decision is one that sees the importance of going to Church." He stops and grins. Everyone laughs. "I did it again, didn't I? It's hard to give up trying to teach you kids. I want you to have the right values."

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Emily and Carolyn look at each other with that parents-don't- understand look. "If you haven't taught us what you want us to know about your values by now, it's too late," says Emily.

"Besides," adds Carolyn, "we do have your values about most things. How do you think I've managed at college this year with all the drinking and drugs there? Of course Emily and I have learned your values and now leave us alone to show you."

Emily jumps back in. "But, learning your values doesn't mean we do everything as you want us to. We have your values; now as adults, we must make our own decisions, to use these values in ways that make sense to us."

"And that won't always be the same decisions you would make," Carolyn completes the message adult children have to send to their parents.

This is a loving family struggling with what it means for children to grow up. In this conversation about Christmas services, the girls are 18 and 23 years old, but it could just as well be occurring when they are 38 and 43 - about child rearing or how to spend their money or any other topic.

I turn to the parents. "It's clear you've done a nice job of teaching them values. Now it's up to them to figure how to use them. I suspect you learned from your parents but then experimented, to see what fit for you. You probably made mistakes and learned the hard way. That's what growing up is about."

Father grins. "Putting it in that perspective reminds me of how I constantly challenged my parents, but I'm fine today. Okay girls. This is tough, but I'm going to let you finish the job that Mom and I started: getting you grown up."

Everyone is smiling, a true Christmas gift.

Now Listen Carefully-

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