Single & Dating? Note that People Who Are Separated or “In the Process” Might Not Be “Available” for a Serious Relationship

If you are taking part in the dating scene you have probably met many who claim to be in the process of divorce/separation or declare that they have just recently separated. Agreeing to go out with them under the assumption that a satisfying relationship might develop is, in most likelihood, a wishful thinking, ending up in your being frustrated, angry at yourself, disillusioned and alone. Taking care of your own self-development is a time better spent than going out with them.

WHY IS IT BETTER FOR YOU TO NOT GO OUT WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST SEPARATED OR “IN THE PROCESS”?

If you are single and in the dating scene, wishing to take care of your self-development and become empowered to develop a serious relationship, you might want to be wary of those who have just been separated or “in the process”. The reasons are many:

1. They are often angry and disillusioned about their failed relationship (and maybe even about “the other sex”). Not only they are not ready emotionally to have a new partner, but they might also project onto you all their anger and frustration.

2. They often feel the need to be with someone in order to alleviate their sense of failure and deal with their loneliness. There neediness might lead them to be with you not because of whom you are, but because they need SOMEONE to be with!

3. They often want to feel good about themselves and about their sexuality and would like to “experiment”. They might tend to “seduce” whoever is an easy prey.

4. It is easier for them to immediately date others rather than deal with their unfinished businesses. Therefore, they tend to jump into a “relationship” with whoever is inclined to be with them.

5. They haven’t had the time to work on their “unfinished business” of their recent separation. They therefore bring too many unsolved issues into their new “relationship”. Thinking that you can help them go with whatever they are dealing with is an illusion, driven by your own needs.

All in all, those who have just recently separated or are “in the process” are NOT AVAILABLE for a serious intimacy, even if they claim they are.

WHAT MIGHT DRIVE YOU TO DATE OTHERS WHO ARE NOT AVAILABLE?

If you are driven to date others who have just separated or are “in the process”, regardless of the slim chances of extending the date into a serious relationship, pay attention to what it is that drives you to doing so: These can be your needs for love and acceptance, and/or whatever fears might push you (such as: the fear of being alone). Your needs and fears might, therefore, date other who are “unavailable” and telling yourself that he/she is charming, intelligent, nice, caring, and all-loving. You might also believe that YOU will be the one to “help” this person, to “salvage” him/her from the situation he/she is in.

DATING THOSE WHO ARE UNAVAILABLE MIGHT BE A WASTE OF YOUR TIME!

Keep in mind that dating such people might be a waste of your time. In all likelihood a serious, long-lasting relationship will NOT materialize, only making you feel betrayed, angry, insecure, facing unfulfilled expectations and vain promises, and once again alone.

If you sincerely wish to find a person with whom to develop a satisfying intimacy, don’t let your fears and needs navigate you into the arms of someone who is “on the brinks of separation”. You better save yourself costly emotional upheavals as well as precious time in your search for a person who is available for a serious relationship. It might be helpful to take your time to engage with self-development, develop your Self-Awareness, get in touch with your needs and fears and beco0me empowered to seek others who are available for a serious intimacy.