My Husband Never Takes Me Out: When Your Husband Has No Time For You

My Husband Never Takes Me Out: When Your Husband Has No Time For You

Though they realize its importance, many couples think that keeping your marriage exciting is doing to be a time and energy consuming job. Actually it is not, provided you apply some strategic techniques that not only help you in keeping your marriage exciting but also in keeping the romance on, in an otherwise boring situation. Remember, a marriage needs constant nutrition, or else, it dries up.

Here are some tips to set you thinking on keeping your marriage exciting:

o Never think that now that you can romance at home, dating each other is irrelevant. You could still meet each other at romantic spots, buy each other surprise gifts and say all the things you said to each other before you tied the knot.

o There is nothing that works better in keeping your marriage exciting as sharing some common interests. Be it outdoors or in indoor activities, when you share common hobbies and pastimes you end up spending more time with each other and this physical proximity can have lasting effect in a relationship.

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o Keep surprise element on in your marriage for keeping it exciting. Remember normal is boring and this is true in marriages also. Surprise your spouse with an unannounced movie ticket or tickets for a vacation. Create days in the calendar which calls for a gift. Like the first day you met, the first day you kissed or made love and so on. In short learn how to celebrate the small joys of life with your spouse by your side.

o Laughter is the best medicine for keeping your marriage exciting. There is nothing like a good laugh at the end of the day. Watch a funny movie together and explore the child in each other. Glance through old photographs and laugh together remembering old times. It is a great way for keeping your marriage exciting and preventing boredom.

o Sex is no only a physical act but a means of communicating with someone you love very dearly. For keeping your marriage exciting, never underestimate the importance of sex. If you find your spouse shy or reluctant, encourage him or her to explore newer avenues to derive sexual pleasure. It can re-establish both mental and physical connection between the two of you.

The last but never the least important point to remember for keeping your marriage exciting is that the desire has to come from both of you. Even when you find your partner reluctant, you could still manage to involve him or her in various fun and romantic activities if you try hard.

Now Listen Carefully-

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I often find it funny that a lot of women treat us guys like we live on a whole different planet to them. I mean sure, there's the whole, "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" sort of thing, but really if you look at it, we're all human. In this article to help you in understanding men better, I'm going to talk about a pet peeve of women who are going to die alone. Yes, I know that sounds harsh, but there's really no other way of putting it. Ladies, if you're doing what I'm about to describe, you'd better stop. No man is going to ever love you if you do this to them.

1. "Nice body? Check."

Ring any bells? This whole process of "ticking the boxes" is something that a lot of women do. Hey, a lot of men do this as well, but we more so limit it to the physical aspects. Even then, we don't do it seriously and let that decide how likely we are to start a relationship with that woman.

The fact that some women literally carry a list around and find men who can tick all their boxes is saddening. These women are never going to find a man who can love them whole-heartedly. Why is that?

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2. Look Deeper

It's because these women are interested in only the superficial aspect of the relationship. There is so much more that you simply can't answer by just looking at a man. It's sort of like a chicken and egg paradox: to know whether it's going to be a good relationship or not, you have to get into the relationship.

I understand if people want to avoid pain. Ultimately though, it can't be avoided, especially if you're really serious about finding the one.

3. The Solution?

If you do this to any extent, you should stop for your own safety. Us men find this extremely degrading and although you might find a man that ticks all the boxes, he will only use you and dump you as soon as he finds someone better.

To find someone who is perfect for you, burn your list. Simply go with your gut and do things traditionally. Get to know him. Get to know his friends.

Understanding men really isn't that difficult. All you have to do is realize that we want respect from you as much as you want respect from us. It's simple. Burn your check list and your chances of finding the right man for you will shoot sky high.

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We humans have a natural desire for closeness with another. We want to share our burdens and our joy. We hope our troubles will be easier to bear if we have support. We know that pleasure and delight are more fun when we're together and that loneliness is the pits.

This desire for togetherness, however, is often confused with the need for completeness and self-esteem. If we enter into and pursue a relationship expecting our partner to solve our personal problems we will soon be disappointed. Faced with that disappointment, emotionally fused couples will engage in elaborate and devious deceptions to avoid confronting their real differences and conflicts.

Under stress, a fused person will tend to blame their partner or themselves for things that go wrong. "If he loved me I'd feel good about my life", or, "If I were good enough I'd be able to satisfy her", these are the thoughts of a fused partner.

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Once partners begin taking responsibility for each other's feelings, more and more areas of the relationship become filled with tension. Over time, the couple will tend to avoid more and more areas in an effort to avoid tension. This inevitably leads to alienation as flexibility decreases and communication about emotions is constricted or eliminated.

This failure to appreciate and allow for differences in the other stems from never having achieved emotional independence from one's parents. Each partner puts the other in charge of their self-esteem. The myth that sustains the problem is, "If you are different from me or disagree with me, you don't love me and therefore I am not worthwhile."

Fusion and closeness are ultimately incompatible.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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You are excited. You finally took the big step to pursue what you have been wanting to do for a long time. You are energized and feel yourself evolving in new directions. Although at times you are scared and feel uncertain you stay focused and start having success.

Then comes the clincher. Your partner, who initially was supportive, is starting to complain, question, raise concerns and make new demands. You are taken a back and question if it is worth it to continue this new venture if it puts such stress on your relationship. This is a critical time in a relationship.

Here are some ideas to keep in mind if you find yourself in such a situation:

1. Whenever one person makes changes it affects the other person.
The equilibrium that you had between you is being tested. The longer you are involved in your new pursuits the less sure your partner will be as to his/her continued place in your life. As the established pattern shifts there will be a period of uncertainty.

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2. Stay focused on what you are doing but with added sensitivity to your partners' needs.
When you realize that it is normal for your partner to feel stress because you have shifted the familiar balance it will be easier to offer reassurance to your partner.

3. You can create a new balance that will enrich both of your lives
When one person makes changes the other will have to change also. At first there will be the expected resistance, followed by anxiety, and finally acceptance that things will be different between both of you. In relationships that last there is an understanding that one can get through these times of change. It still will be stressful but enriching. If a partner can not adjust, the relationship will revert to the old equilibrium or not continue.

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