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The Human Condition
Volume 1, Part 01
Have you ever wondered what is the platform for our one and only human experience? I have, for I once destroyed 99.9 percent of my human experience. With one tenth of my experience left, I took the time to learn how to learn from my insecurities. I ... Views: 1625
So – I Finally Quit Drinking. Why am I so Angry?
By Claude “Hoot” Hooten aka: Brad Edwards
Believe it or not, when we drunks finally quit drinking, we're angry. I remember thinking, "alright, I'm not drinking, what else do they want?" "I was giving up all the ... Views: 16001
Spiritual growth is a very personal journey. We are spiritual beings in a human body from our first breath to our last. Each time we breathe in, we accept life and all she has to offer us. With each out breath, we release all that we no longer need.
As small children, we wonder at nature and ... Views: 2063
This Anger Contract was my response to the events chronicled in my previous post, "The Betrayal." A bogus Intervention had been done to me, and had forced me to get in touch with deep anger that I had been trying to release for several years. I knew I needed to do something radical to handle ... Views: 4250
My next several blog posts are all related to the same topic. They deal with something that happened to me in July of 1988. My Dad had died the previous Thanksgiving, and I was still in the grief process over that loss. As well, I was still involved with a 12 step program for people who had ... Views: 1912
If you’ve been victimized often, chances are the positive qualities you possess were viewed as an opportunity to take advantage of you – often by someone who lacks caring and concern, consciousness or character, usually in combination.
Being un-thoughtful and even callous in our stressed, ... Views: 2114
One of my clients is haunted by the memory of a former lover. She wonders how she allowed such a "bad" relationship to go on for so long. Of course she did the best she could with the awareness she had at the time.
But now she has 20/20 hindsight.
We’ve all been in her shoes. We wish we ... Views: 1544
At some point in my development (it's an ongoing process), I gained a fear of confrontation. As I went on, it became more and more prevalent and became a part of my personality. I was a "nice guy", which is fine and certainly carries redeeming qualities; however, I found myself with many ... Views: 4355
Our relationship is one of the biggest, most powerful asset and gift we have in our life! It is a true "treasure chest" worth a fortune. It can deliver unimaginable heights of satisfaction, peace, joy, love, happiness and success!!
To cash-in on this fortune we have to polish the "gems on ... Views: 1815
Are You Abandoned or Smothered in Your Relationship?
Couples get stuck in how they relate in their relationship and no matter how they try to get unstuck, to meet their needs and to create a satisfying relationship, they just get more and more buried in dissatisfaction.
The negative cycle ... Views: 2486
Stop Sabotaging Yourself!
Have you noticed that when you are really close to what you want or to the next level in your life, things seem to go wrong? You are close to having your car paid off and you total it, you are about to win a sports competition and you get injured, you are about ... Views: 3720
Bring Your Self to Your Relationship
It is a phenomenon when we feel energized, connected, and alive past the infatuation stage of our relationship.
At the beginning, we fall in love. We feel euphoric, on top of the world, passionate, sexy, wanted, lustful, etc. This stage lasts and can be ... Views: 2048
Codependent behavior can definitely impact ones quality of life in a very negative fashion.
In my own example it was very clear about the kind of men I attracted into my life before I "let go of my need to rescue." I attracted men who were distant or obsessed or addicted. I found men who ... Views: 4464
Typology of Codependents
Codependence is a complex, multi-faceted, and multi-dimensional defence against the codependent's fears and needs. There are four categories of codependence, stemming from their respective aetiologies:
(i) Codependence that aims to fend of anxieties related to ... Views: 5828
Tired of being solo when the whole world seems coupled up? Many of the people I work with want to improve their wealth area but I’d say finding a new relationship (or strengthening an existing one) is also the number one priority of most people. When I do an analysis of your home and interview ... Views: 4678
There are very fuzzy boundaries between helping and enabling. If you’re enabling, you think that you’re helping, but what you’re doing is anything but helpful. Here's some information so that you don't confuse the two.
Helping
When you help someone you are doing something that they cannot ... Views: 15609
Have you ever been verbally attacked and found yourself at a loss for words? Or have you become defensive and found yourself drawn into a verbal volley that left you drained emotionally and energetically?
Finding Personal Power Under Verbal Attack
Every verbal attack is either an ... Views: 4940
Regardless of our chosen field, or the manner in which we use your gifts, most of us have come across people in our lives who absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their actions, their situations, their own lives. It could be a family member, a dear friend, a co-worker, even a spouse. ... Views: 1781
I have been looking at a book by Claudia Black, “My Dad Loves Me, My Dad Has
A Disease” (A Child’s View: Living With Addiction, full of pictures and writing by children), and remembering the children of addiction, and the mentally ill. I have seen five-year-olds acting like little adults, ... Views: 1893
The "dance" of codependency requires two people: the pleaser/fixer and the taker/controller. This inherently dysfunctional dance can only happen with one partner who is a codependent and another partner who is a narcissist (abuser or addict). Codependents do not know how to emotionally ... Views: 8253
For ACoAs- (Adult-Children of alcoholics, abusers, abandoners & other narcissists)
ACoAs know how they would like their life to be: TO have a fulfilling career, loving relationships, less pressure, a little fun... and they try, struggle, obsess - but not much changes. They become more & more ... Views: 2846
Many books have been written on the subject of boundaries. Is it possible to be an I and still be a We? Where do I end and my partner begin? Many of us have been pondering this notion. How do I get close without getting lost while in a committed relationship?
Many believe that the lack of ... Views: 2065
Recently, I joined a group of women to journal, meditate and share about our intentions for the New Year. It was suggested that we come up with one or two words to describe our deepest intention underlying all of our desired outcomes. The words that I chose were…“Joyful Creation.” More than ... Views: 2990
Earl Nightingale said, "Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and ... Views: 8587
What is Emotional Dependency?Lydia consulted with me because her relationship with her husband, Andrew, was falling apart. Andrew had moved out, stating that he could no longer tolerate Lydia's neediness and constant pull on him to make her feel loved and secure. Now that they were separated, ... Views: 7475
Relationships are a part of life that never seem to go smoothly. Dealing with other people can be difficult, no matter how much you care about them. Energy therapy healing offers you a way to help you deal with relationships and even improve upon them. This type of therapy is often combined with ... Views: 2091
When folks around you make waves with their alien communication styles, fervent demands, or weird displays of power, you need healthy boundary skills that pop to the surface like a life preserver. Your imagination can roar to the rescue and save the day.
To keep a grip on the real you when ... Views: 1870
Anger. No one likes the feeling. Your body tightens. Your blood pressure heightens. You feel out of control.
Have you ever asked yourself why you get angry? The tendency in our world is to think that someone or something has made us mad. The truth, however, is that our anger comes from ... Views: 1770
In the Intuitive Development class that I teach, I often ask people to close their eyes and listen to their hearts instead of listening to their thoughts. So often we get wrapped up in all of our responsibilities and worries that we don’t even know what our own needs are. We know what our ... Views: 1783
If you ask most people about what karma is, they will most likely respond with references to “good” and “bad” deeds. Most people strive to be the best they can be for themselves and others. We want to be good. And yet, most of the clients who I see in my intuitive counseling sessions have to ... Views: 6577
What is codependent behavior? When you try to define codependent you may see many definitions that essentially refer to the same problem: an excessive caring for another person that borders on psychological obsession. Is there such a thing as a person being too caring? Don’t all people desire ... Views: 5243
Before seeking help with conquering codependency, you must first understand the condition and identify if you really have a problem with it. Codependency is defined as a group of behaviors related to the idea of excessive care taking. While loving someone too much should not be reason for ... Views: 2372
Understanding codependency characteristics first involves understanding where this behavior comes from. Like any pattern of behavior, codependency is learned from family members. Codependency is a survival characteristic, one that is used as a coping mechanism with stressful situations. Much ... Views: 3672
Parents want what is best for their children. If a mother and father do their best to raise their child, offering strong guidance and attentive parenting, then it is a job well done. However, letting go of that parental authority can be a challenge, particularly when the child grows into a ... Views: 20506
Codependency can often cause individuals to lose themselves in their relationships. They ignore their own feelings, needs and problems. Instead, they choose to obsess over the person that they "love." They are obsessed with the other person's feelings and needs. Although you would think that ... Views: 5231
Codependent behavior is not actually classified as a disorder by most doctors or the medical association. It is listed as a group of behaviors that are maladaptive. This indicates that the codependent person ignores the problem, such as stressful thoughts and circumstances, and attempts to ... Views: 6998
This is an interesting question, because there are some mental health professionals, as well as family heads, that believe codependency is a myth and that there is nothing wrong with “excessive care.” The belief is that while some people may find overbearing family members or friends troubling, ... Views: 4963
If you are looking for codependency information then you may have noticed that the definition of codependent can imply many different behaviors and symptoms. The essence of the codependent definition is that a person will demonstrate excessive caring, to the point that it is inappropriate or ... Views: 4844
Anger kills. Usually it doesn't result in a homicide. It causes (or contributes to) illness, obesity, depression, and other health problems. What may help most is something you may never have heard of.
I'm Rose Rosetree, author of "Cut Cords of Attachment," the first book in English on this ... Views: 2728
The term 'co-dependency' was initially used to describe a person who was dependent on another person who was an alcoholic, or addicted to another substance. Over time, it has been discovered that co-dependents have common characteristics that have nothing to do with substance ... Views: 2115
Dr. Jasquith says that tyranny is sometimes expression of the maternal instinct. If that's a mother's love, I want no part of it. -- Bette Davis as Charlotte Vale in "Now Voyager"
The experience of having lived (or living) in trauma is probably the number one reason that brings people to ... Views: 6129
In my view, as I look back over the last 30 years of being a therapist, I notice how much more human and humane therapists have become and how much more personal the therapy process has become. The momentous impact of more humanistically and transpersonally-oriented therapies has actually ... Views: 2229
“Will you stop it?” I nervously repeated to my brother John. “Stop it; I just want to get home before someone sees us.” We were schlepping a huge wire shopping cart filled with a big bird, a big dead bird, and all the accoutrements for the next day’s Thanksgiving dinner. The sign on the cart ... Views: 3057
Relationship addiction is becoming recognised more and more as a serious problem requiring careful co-dependency counselling. Co-dependency in general terms means two parties in a relationship based on a mutual dependency. Most relationships have a mutual level of healthy dependency. However, ... Views: 3180
What if I showed you some simple ways and tactics that will help you to generate more traffic from your articles? These 3 simple steps when applied will help you to get all the free traffic you will ever need to promote your website from article marketing. Make sure you apply all these 3 steps ... Views: 2417
Is there someone in your life who is spending compulsively, and you feel frustrated and angry with him or her? You don’t understand why they do what they do, and you can’t understand why they can’t just use a little more willpower. Perhaps you have tried bribery, threats, punishment, rewards, ... Views: 5081
Throughout my childhood I received consistent messages that demonstrated the power of a dysfunctional family. The disease of my parents and abusers robbed me of my boundaries and individuality – the right to have a self.
Remembering back now, through the years of oppression and sexual abuse, ... Views: 1528
I come from a family with a codependent mother. I am neither judging her nor blaming. But identifying codependency symptoms in her helped me a lot to overcome low self esteem.
Codependency definition :
Codependency is not a disease, it is an emotional and behavioural condition that is learned ... Views: 3949
Jesus was always drawing attention to nature...because he saw a power for restoration and healing in it that humans have lost touch with.
“Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of ... Views: 2479
For those having been instilled with good Boundaries they may seem as natural as breathing, a way of being in the world that is consistent and makes sense. For those less fortunate poor boundary development can be crippling to ones whole life.
In essence a boundary is a personal line in the ... Views: 3252