Husband Spends Money Without Telling Me: What To Do When Your Husband Hides Money From You

Dealing with financial problems in marriage can cause serious marriage troubles. The emotional pain, stress, and marital discord can even produce marriage breakups if not handled properly. How couples deal with each other and the strategies they use to solve the problem is extremely important in saving a marriage. Overcoming financial difficulties can be done effectively by avoiding common mistakes that can destroy your marriage. Although having financial difficulties will test your marriage there are strategies to survive it with your marriage intact.

Avoid the blame game - Whose fault is it?
Although it can be tempting to place blame when serious financial difficulties appear, each partner must take some responsibility for their situation.. It is not unusual for one spouse to be unaware of financial issues until a financial crisis appears. It is a reasonable practice for both marriage partners to pay attention to finances. With both partners paying attention mistakes may be discovered and financial marriage troubles avoided.

Communication - Get Your Bearings
Communicating with each other is the first step to solving your financial situation. No matter who is at fault your financial situation is a shared responsibility and must be resolved for your marriage and life to move forward.

During this time of stress you may want to think about the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning of your relationship and the commitment you have to each other.

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Communicate About your Financial Situation:
• Choose a time and place where you can talk to each other without interruption or distractions
• Avoid placing blame
• No put downs or sarcasm
• Forget about being right and your partner being wrong
• Listen to your spouse without interrupting
• Avoid statements such as "you never" or "you always"
• Listen and reflect on your partners point of view - don't just ignore it or blow it off
• Be calm -NO YELLING!
• Give your spouse some reinforcement that you hear what they are saying (nodding, eye contact, other positive body language)
• Discuss your current financial situation, how much it is, and how best to handle things given your current financial situation.

Regaining Trust in Money Issues:
Just like any other area of marriage financial trust is a big issue and once lost it can be hard to regain.

A Few helpful tips to regain financial trust:

• Complete honesty and openness about finances and debt
• Keep your spouse informed, even if they show little or no interest - have a place where financial information is kept and is available for you both to look at any time.
• Do not have any secrets and NO secret accounts or money stashes
• Establish a plan to get things under control-make sure your spouse is involved and agrees to the plan
• You may want to divide up the bill paying responsibilities so you both feel involved
• Have regular meetings with your spouse to discuss finances - at home-out to dinner-going for a walk, etc
• ABSOLUTELY NO SECRETS!

Tips to Address Financial Problems in Marriages:
• Set up a budget
• Determine what bills there are to pay and agree on who pays what
• Have a set time to discuss your finances
• If you cannot pay your bills learn your rights and consider seeking professional advice
• Set aside time to spend alone time together(going for walks, movie, cards/board games, etc)

Where ever you are financially in your marriage you arrived at that point together and you will have to work to together solve this problem. While many marriages spiral downward under financial stress, other married coupes are able to overcome the situation and move forward.

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Do you enjoy your marriage? If not, do you know what's missing? If you believe God wants you to experience an abundant life in every aspect of your marriage relationship, then you must understand that God will provide the resources you need to help restore the joy and excitement in your marriage. The ultimate key is for you to become "desperate." Whether you're a stay-at-home wife or a working woman, you can become a desperate housewife for Christ.

Unfortunately, the media often paints a very lop-sided picture of love and relationships, particularly when it comes to marriage. For example, when you watch a movie it's normally based on an unrealistic story which goes this way:

• Boy meets girl.
• Boy falls in love with girl.
• Boy marries girl.
• They live "happily ever after".

What is your idea of "Happily Ever After"?

The media often doesn't show the "ever after" or what goes on during the marriage. Even when they try the soap operas, sitcoms, and movies featured will make you believe that divorce in marriage is the only way to a happy life if you're not happy with your marriage.

It's hard to understand why some couples refuse to make their marriages work. Instead they give into the philosophy of this world which often says, "If you're not happy, get a divorce".

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

People often use a variety of excuses for filing for divorce. They say things such as:

• "I was too young."
• "I fell out of love."
• "I never really loved my spouse."
• "I'm tired."
• "Why doesn't my spouse just change?"
• "I'm not putting up with this anymore!"
• "I can do bad by myself."

In fact, many couples including Christians use divorce as a form of escapism or relief from reality, only to remarry or connect with someone in hopes that things will be better this time. Unfortunately they often don't!

While there are very few Biblical reasons for divorce, God's ultimate plan for marriage is for a man and woman to stay together and work through the issues and crises that threaten to destroy their marriage relationship.

As Christian women our commitment to marriage goes much deeper than saying "I do." It involves a covenant, or agreement that we will remain committed to God and our husbands till death. What does this mean? It means that as wives, we must be willing to seek God's presence in order to gain direction on how to work through challenging times. While seeking the face of God when you're hurting, angry, or ready to throw in the towel is not the easiest thing to do, it is possible. (Philippians 4:13) Although you can't change your husband, God will give you the grace to do your part to make your marriage work.

Furthermore, I suggest looking at your marriage as a lifelong career. After all, if you were a physician who lost a patient, would you just give up on practicing medicine? Or would you learn from your mistakes, study, and then work harder to prevent another death from occurring?

Below you'll find 10 ways to become a desperate housewife for Christ:

1) Pray - As a believer, prayer is one of the most powerful weapons you possess. On a daily basis for one week, take at least 10 minutes to pray. How do you pray?
• Start by telling God you love Him.
• Thank Him for at least two positive things about your husband.
• Ask God to show you where you are wrong in your marriage relationship.
• Ask God to give you the wisdom to work at your marriage the proper way.

2) Take some quiet time to reflect on your marriage and to hear the voice of God. In addition to praying, take at least 7-10 minutes out of your day to sit quietly. While it probably won't be an audible voice, God will show you something or impress something upon your heart as you continue to seek Him.

3) Find a Scripture that speaks to your heart about your situation. I suggest reading 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter. From that chapter, choose one verse to meditate and act upon for one week.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

4) Communicate with your husband. Prayerfully talk with your husband and tell him you want your marriage to work and you will do your part to see this happen. If he's receptive you can also let him know about your concerns (without pointing the finger or judging him), and ask him how the two of you can work as a team to deal with the issues in your marriage. Do this without an attitude and without expecting your husband to reciprocate your feelings. Remember, it's not about him changing, but it's about you becoming desperate for God to change you!

5) Purchase a book or check out a book from the library which focuses on Christian marriage. Some of the most notable books on marriage include:

• The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
• Covenant Marriage by Gary Chapman
• The Sexually Confident Wife by Shannon Ethridge
• Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge
• Maximize Your Marriage by B. Courtney McBath
Marriage Talk by Kim Walter Brown

Once you find the book you want, read the back cover to see if the summary focuses on the issues you're currently facing in your marriage. Or if you research it online, check the summary for more information. Some of these books are also available on audio.

6) Find a trusted friend to pray with you and/or intercede for you about your marriage.

7) Buy your husband an inexpensive gift that you know he would love.

For example, if your husband is a sports fan, you could buy him something with his favorite team (or player), on it.

8) Take a few days to abstain from watching soap operas and shows such as Desperate Housewives, Housewives of New Jersey (and all the other states), Divorce Court, and any other show that can give you a distorted view of marriage.

9) Make love to your husband on a consistent basis, even when you're not in the mood. Also, make the effort to initiate sex with your husband sometimes.

10) If you've tried to implement these steps or you are dealing with more intense situations where it seems like your marriage is beyond repair such as adultery or domestic violence, I suggest you seek help by finding a licensed Christian counselor.

As a Christian woman, you must understand that God wants your marriage to work. He wants the best for you and He has given you the tools to do your part to work on your marriage. Although you can't change your husband, you can demonstrate to God and your husband that you are desperate for your marriage to work through tools such as prayer, communication, giving, and making love consistently.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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If you have reached the point in your marriage where you are looking at a possible divorce, you need to ask yourself a very critical question: Are you doing the right things to help save your marriage? Or are you making the common mistakes that have doomed so many marriages in the past? I'm not talking about the mistakes that brought you to this point. I'm talking about what you are doing now that you are facing a divorce!

First off, let me explain who I am. I'm not a licensed therapist or a marriage counselor. Frankly, one of those "experts" about destroyed my marriage! I am a regular guy who was totally unprepared the day my wife told me we were through. If this is the position you now find yourself in, you know how I felt! I can't describe the hurt and devastation of my world being torn apart. How could this be happening? I had to do something to save my marriage!

Unfortunately, not being equipped or prepared to deal with this, I reacted in the best way I knew how at the time. It turned out though, that I was badly mistaken on the best way to handle the situation. I have since learned that there are a number of very common mistakes that can destroy any chance you have at getting your spouse to reconsider when you are facing a divorce:

1. Do not beg your spouse to reconsider. (It surrenders all your power! )

2. Do not promise to change. (It will sound empty and desperate! )

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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3. Do not keep calling, texting or emailing.( More desperation )

4. Do not argue, yell or make threats (Really makes you unattractive)

5. Do not stalk or follow your spouse (More desperation and a bit creepy)

6. Do not lay around the house moping and crying.

7. Do not resort to alcohol or drugs.

Have you done any of these things? I did some of them and needless to say none of them worked. Actually any of these mistakes will most likely push your spouse even further away. If you've done any of them already, like I did, fear not! Your marriage can still be saved just like mine and countless other marriages; even when only one partner wanted to save the marriage!

The divorce papers had been filed and I had resigned myself to failure when the miracle happened. I stumbled almost by accident across an action plan that would change my life forever. I am still happily married and my marriage is now better than ever. The key for me was learning to do certain things and say certain things and behave in certain ways, even though my wife said she wanted a divorce. I suddenly began noticing a change in her, without her even realizing it.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

If you're wondering how to save marriage, you're not alone. As you read this, half of the married couples out there are considering or going through divorce.

On the other hand, how bad is divorce? Well, it's certainly not as pretty as the movies and TV make it out to be. Being divorced when you're past your prime, with your career in tatters (thanks to the bad marriage) is a tough place to restart. How many divorced people do you know end up unhappy with life, resentful of their ex, and in therapy?

Besides, you guys had something, way back when you were first married. You are definitely compatible, you have a special bond. The marriage is worth saving. But how? Would it be difficult or easy?

Chances are it won't be easy. Here's why --

1. You can't talk without fighting or arguing so how do you even sort things out?

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

2. You can't even face one another so how do you sit in the same room to resolve issues?

3. You both insist you're right and there's no room for compromise

4. Everyone you know is divorced, how can they possibly help you save your marriage?

So is it darn near impossible to save a marriage on the verge of divorce? No, it can be done. But usually not without outside help. The fact is therapy has helped millions of couples save their marriage but is not cheap. Experts charge hundreds an hour. Are there alternatives? If you're desperate to save your marriage, just go and get the same exact techniques used by these experts but from their online e-courses and ebooks. That's being smart.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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