Marriage and Family Counseling: Will Marriage Counseling Save My Marriage

Marriage and Family Counseling: Will Marriage Counseling Save My Marriage

Every single day thousands of unhappy couples seek the services of a professional marriage counselor at the rate of $100 or more per hour in the hopes of saving their marriage. That statistic indicates that saving a marriage is pretty important to a lot of couples. But does marriage counseling work at saving a marriage or is it $100 per hour down the drain?

Here are the statistics: 90% of couples that sought the services of a professional marriage counselor ended up getting divorced. So I guess the answer to 'does marriage counseling work at saving a marriage' is yes (10% of the time, a bookie will give you better odds than that)

What's important to take note of however is not whether or not marriage counseling works or doesn't work at saving a marriage it's why it doesn't work when it doesn't work and why it does work when it does work. there were two huge obstacles that stand in the way of marriage counseling being effective.

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The first obstacle is a marriage counselor is a complete stranger. Your marriage is a culmination of however many years you've been married times 365 days in a year. That's a lot of history to sort out with somebody who is a complete stranger. To further complicate the situation the only information that the counselor gets about your marriage is the information you and your spouse provide a marriage counselor. How is it an average couple is qualified to know what information is important to provide the counselor and which information is best left out, or should nothing be left out?

The second obstacle, the marriage counselor being a complete stranger, in order for the marriage counselor to have a chance at providing effective solutions you are required to provide the marriage counselor with the most intricate and intimate details of your life and marriage. I don't know of too many people who would feel totally comfortable telling a complete stranger every single detail without leaving some things out of fear of embarrassment or a sense of privacy.

It is those two previously mentioned obstacles is the reason marriage counseling does not work 90% of the time. And one last complication which I have almost forgotten to mention on top of the first to obstacles is the variable of how qualified the counselor is and how much the counselor really cares at helping you. As I am writing this article I am scratching my head actually surprised that it's only 90% of couples that sought marriage counseling end up divorced!

The one solution to marriage difficulties that could potentially be extremely effective is self marriage counseling where the two people in the marriage counselor marriage themselves. The first and second obstacle are completely removed the one flaw in that plan is the third obstacle is glaring and gigantic.

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Do you feel bored with your marriage? Or, are you having suspicions that your husband is having an affair? Do you feel like getting out of all the burdens of married life? Don't do it yet!

Yes, maintaining your married life is not easy. There will be a lot of trials and challenges to face and if one of you is not strong enough to hold on to your promises, you married life will grow dull and lifeless and in no time, both of you might want to get out of it. But, marriage is sacred and it is something to be kept and respected by everyone. That is why before you think of divorce, think of ways to repair your marriage.

It is never too late to repair your marriage now! Check the tips below that might help you fix the relationship you have with your partner.

1) Talk to your Partner

Perhaps the problem in your relationship is lack of communication. Do not hesitate to make the first move to converse with your partner. Just do simple talk such as asking him or her after work on what happened to him at work, you can ask what his boss is asking him to do, you can ask about that officemate of his who always irritates him, or you might want to share on what happened to you day at work. Talk about something that will make the two of your converse. You can add a simple gesture of massaging the back or feet of your partner so they can relax. If you've had arguments and have not been talking for days, make the first move to talk and apologize. This is one important step to repair your marriage.

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2) Do simple, caring and loving gestures

Try to do simple gestures like cooking breakfast or dinner and eating with your partner or family. Perhaps this might have not have happened in a long time because you are both busy. If you have children, ask the kids on school stuff and have your partner take part in the conversation. If both of you are childless, try to suggest having a dinner for two and suggest some special activity you have never done in a long time. You may want to plan for a vacation away from the busy city life. Consider spending a second honeymoon or you can suggest that you two go back to the most romantic place you have been to before. This is a sure way to rekindle some old memories and repair your marriage.

3) Respect you Partner and lower down your Pride

If you noticed that both of you have been fighting over little things for sometime, be sure that you make something different this time. For example, if you feel like both of you are getting into an argument, keep quiet and keep calm. Don't make the issues big because there might be some reasons to your partner's irritable behavior or inappropriate response. Lower down your voice and respond calmly. After that, try asking your partner if something is bothering him, if he's tired at work, etc. Remember the saying, "Don't fight fire with fire".

Also always remember to say sorry if it is your mistake. Don't let pride take over because this will destroy both of you. If no one drops down his or her pride in a relationship, it will surely result to failure. Remember that you want to repair your marriage and you can do that by respect!

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Are you having frequent fights with your partner? Are you bored or tired with your married life? Do you feel like you need some time out or you want a divorce? Don't do it yet!

When you are on the brink of losing your marriage, do not hesitate to take some action. It can still be saved if you know well what to do. Do not wait for your partner to do something to save it especially if it's clear to you that he or she has no plans of fixing it or doesn't know how to mend the relationship. You have to get a good save marriage advice from someone reliable. There are many people out there that is capable of giving you any save marriage advice but not all gives the right suggestions. Below are some relevant ways that can provide you answers and help you save your marriage.

Ask Parent's Advice

If you come from a family that has very strong familial relationship and both of your parents have lived together for a very long time, you can ask help from them. Just be sure that they have a good relationship with each other and there is love, trust and respect between the two of them. If it is not your parents, you can ask some other couples that have lived together for a long time for save marriage advice. Ask help and advice from them on what to do to keep your marriage. Surely all couples have been through storms and it can be fixed. Ask the couple on how they dealt with the difficulties of marriage and how they stayed strong amidst the difficulties.

Ask Help from Relationship Adviser

Most of the relationship advisers are psychiatrists. It is because they know well how humans deal with each other and they are experts on human behavior. They know exactly what to do in certain situations. There are excellent relationships advisers out there that you can ask help from. You can find them by recommendation from people especially your friends or someone you know.

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Get Into Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling services are very much available these days because of the increasing incidence of divorce. Marriage is very important and it is sacred. It is bonded by the church and so whatever promises that has been said during the vows must be kept by the married couple. Give it a chance for you and your partner to attend marriage counseling services so you can both see what is wrong in the relationship and you can help each other on the mending process. There is nothing wrong if you try and so you better add this save marriage advice to your lists in fixing a failing relationship.

Talk to you friends

This method may not be helpful at all times because some friends will advice you to get out of the relationship. But, this method will help you ventilate you innermost feelings and can make your burdens lesser when you have voiced out your dilemmas. It is not necessary that you ask help by seeking how to save marriage advice from friends. Having their presence and listening ear will already ease the pain and help you focus your mind on matters at hand.

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Do you and your spouse fight all the time even on the simplest things? Do you find yourself thinking of leaving your partner and ending your marriage? Are you tired of all the emotional pain you are currently suffering?

It is really hard to have marriage problems especially when you have kids. Even when you feel like giving up, there is always a part of you that stops you from doing it. There could be many reasons why even with all the problems, you still choose to stay with your partner. That is actually a good sign because it only means that there could still be a way to save your marriage. All you need is couples relationship help to keep the fire burning again.

Here are some helpful advices for partners who are in dire need of couples relationship help.

Clear your head and think deeply

There is no better way to solve a problem but with a clear head. Relax and free yourself from all the anger and pain you are feeling. When you have a light heart and a clear head it would be easier to make the right choices and decisions.

Communicate

One of the reasons why marriages fail is due to lack of communication. When you try to talk to your partner make sure that you are not mad. Talk when both of you are calm and not fighting. Most couples relationship help advice will tell you to set aside all the pain and anger when you talk.

Listen

Listening is one couples relationship help advice you should keep in mind. When you are having a heart to heart talk with your partner, make sure that you listen and absorb everything. Just let your spouse pour out her feelings first. Do not react just yet unless your partner asks for it. When it is time for you to talk, let her do the same thing. Tell your spouse to listen first.

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Counseling

If you feel that you cannot handle the situation by yourselves, it is time to seek a professional couples relationship help. Find a marriage counselor; they can give better advice on how you can save your marriage. But before you do that, make sure your partner agrees with it or else, it can only make matters worst. If your spouse is hesitant at first, talk to him and make him understand. Say it in a nice and calm way.

Think about your kids

If you seek couples relationship help, you will always hear others people's advice to think about your kids. The kids will be suffering a lot when they know that their parents are fighting all the time. It is harder for kids to accept that especially when their parents finally decided to end the marriage. So before you make a decision think about the welfare of your kids, you do not want to ruin their future.

Saving a marriage is easy if only both partners are willing to patch things up. Remember that marriage is a bond that should not be broken.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.